Firstly i would like to apologise to anyone who had been following this blog regularly for the lack of posts recently, It has been a very busy summer!
As the title says, it has been a summer of progress, when anyone asks me how he is doing i always say ‘slow and steady’ which to some may sound negative, but its not, we knew from the beginning that this was going to be a long process, there wasn’t going to be any overnight miracle where TB woke up decided to eat cake and spend the day watching box sets on the sofa!
So slow and steady for me is positive, it means that every change that happens has time to be accepted, I have less fear of the one step forwards, two steps back idea, each change is being integrated into our lives to become a part of normal life and not be overwhelming for either of us.
So I would like to share a couple of the highs (and the lows) of our Summer.
The one i really want to start with is the ice-cream evening!! Throughout mine and TB’s relationship one thing i have always wanted to do is spend an evening on the sofa watching a film and sharing ice-cream, that may sound silly, but it something i’ve seen my friends do and its always on films! One weekend we had planned to do some bits for our house, and were discussing what film we should rent (yes we still go to blockbuster!) when TB lead me to the frozen section of the supermarket and told me that we were going to have some ice cream to share that evening!!! I was so excited, but also super concerned and wanted to ensure that he was prepared to do it, he said he was and so we picked 2 super little pots of ice cream to have that evening.
After dinner TB was the one who went to get the ice cream and we sat on the sofa watching a film together and sharing some ice cream-it was wonderful 🙂 yes i ate most of it myself, but just the act of him suggesting it, trying it and participating (he had 1 spoon to my 5) but he did it, and i am so so proud of him for it. He set himself a spontaneous challenge (something he has to do for this therapy) and did it!
There have also been more little changes that i have noticed, TB pushing himself more with food groups, going for seconds on things he wouldn’t have previously, taking less time to get relaxed and chill out when he can. This was most noticeable on a day when we had planned to go training at the climbing wall, TB hadn’t done anything all week and you could tell he was so excited to go and do something. However within less than half an hour of us being at the wall he was in a lot of pain with his shoulder injury and it was clear that he wasn’t going to be able to climb. Usually i dread these kinds of situations, and we haven’t really had one since he’s started treatment, so i had no idea what would happen. But we left the wall, went and did something else and rather than the rest of the day being ruined like it once would have been, there was just a few hours of stress.
We have been good as a couple, you can see that the regularity of the treatment and talking to someone is helping, and its nice that i can now be the supportive partner rather than trying to guide him through it with no real knowledge! We have also been on holiday with my parents this summer, this would have been inconceivable previously as they are big food and drink lovers when on holiday. And to say that it wasn’t difficult a lot of the time would be a lie, but we had a lovely holiday, we made it through, TB participated in everything we did and every meal we had. I could tell it was a real stress for him at times, and i tried to keep reminding him how proud i was, and he should focus more on the positives than the negatives-like the fact he was actually there!! But i’m not sure how well it got through.
So i can say that we are definitely on the road, there is still a long way ahead of us, particularly with the cold winter nights soon to set in, and the christmas (eek-im sure it will be upon us before we know it!) will present a whole host of challenges, but it would be nice to think that if we stay at this pace then there will be lots of forwards steps and not so many backwards ones!
Thank you for reading