The reason i started this blog was to help anyone else out there who is in the same position as me, create a space where i could put down everything that goes through my head, and have somewhere that i can record this part of mine and TB’s lives, so we can have a record if and when he ever relapses, and finally to see just how far we have come..
So that is what i would like to record now, just how far we have come in the past year. It becomes too easy just to focus on the things which are difficult and i so often forget to look at just how far we have come (despite regularly telling TB to focus on how far he’s come and not how far he has to go) It’s important to me that if anyone stumbles across this blog whilst looking for support they find hope within my posts as well as being able to relate to some of the experiences.
So the past year….TB only started treatment properly this week, so i would like to point out that all of this below happened without any real formal treatment (TB was seeing a nurse at the local GP practise for a while)
This time last year we were house hunting, we had to move out of the shared house we were living in and there wasn’t much time to do it in! It was hard because Tb was commuting for 2 hours each way to and from work at this point, his evenings were spent exercising and his weekends climbing-But we did manage to find a lovely little place to rent, it is in a beautiful area of the city we live in, and is our first home together. We have now lived together in our own home for over a year 🙂 we are still working on it, it needs more things but we would like to gain these over time rather than running out and buying it all at once.
As i said above TB was commuting for 4 hours a day-which he hated, he had a job he hated, a commute he hated and we lived in a pretty horrible house ( just the house was horrible, the people we lived with were lovely, the house was falling apart) one year later, TB is working in a job which he enjoys, yes he finds it challenging, and part of the reason for that is because of the eating problems that he has affect both his energy and headspace, and the best bit-its only a 20 minute walk from our house! Job wise for me, i started my job a year ago it took a while to get settled and pick up, but i’m now really enjoying it, i am incredibly lucky with the flexibility to work from home some days and my line manager has been very supportive.
I have a very vivid memory of around august last year sitting in our local pub with TB playing scrabble, we were surrounded by groups of friends all catching up on a sunday afternoon and just the two of us were squeezed in between them all, TB turned to me and said ‘we need to get some friends!’. (to clarify, we did have friends! it was just that we had stayed on in the city that we were students in, and almost everyone we knew as students had moved away about this time last year!) Over this past year we have built up a wonderful network of friends, a few of them climbers, a few of them not, who we see regularly and i know that this is something TB loves about life at the minute
Over this past year i have started doing some climbing (admittedly the real reason for me starting was TB’s injury and he needed someone to climb with who he could let down if he was in too much pain to climb and belay him on lots of easy stuff) however i have really enjoyed it, i don’t know if i’ll ever be a ‘climber’ but it has bought us closer, sharing something he loves. TB has also been given the all clear to start climbing again after his injury- woop woop! back to training regularly, and not evenings spent icing/heating poorly shoulders!
We are incredibly lucky where we live to have so many amazing independent restaurants around. Going out for dinner is one of my favourite things to do (ironic isn’t it!) but despite TB’s eating problems we have been out and discovered tons of lovely restaurants all over the city (yes this has involved advance planning and menu checking-but at least we’ve been going!) We have also spent time discovering this city that we live it, and seeing what it offers when your not students! The answer is-tons, its an incredible city, near amazing countryside and we have thoroughly enjoyed exploring it! Theres been theatre trips, long walks, picnics, festivals, gigs, date nights…the list goes on!
This year we have been on holiday abroad, walking and climbing with family, a beautiful holiday with time spent relaxing, and we have just booked another in september.
There is more than this, and this is just a snapshot. Whilst life may seem incredibly tough at times, i cannot forget where we have come from and what we have achieved. If anyone else is in this situation, you’ll know just how hard it is to focus on these things sometimes, but i think they may just be the things that get us through!